How INCREDIBLY selfish am I, that day in and day out I take my insecurities out on the ones I love most. As I sit back and watch it slowly erode into my relationships and effect others negatively. Why is it that I go to people for healing, closure and acceptance when the only place I can find those are in my relationship with God? Why do I doubt the game changing power of God? Why is it that I've made up my mind that there are places and relationships in my life He will never be able to reach and heal?
I just read this horribly inspiring quote by Alphonse Karr, Some people grumble because roses have thorns; I am thankful that the thorns have roses. How beautiful is that.
And unfortunately, I am living in the disposition of that of the one who grumbles at the beautiful rose with thorns. Though I desperately wish I was one that was THANKFUL that the awful thorns have such beautiful roses. For isn't that what I am? An ugly, painful, eye sore of a thorn and on a good day I have maybe one and if I'm lucky two, roses?
I want so much out of this life and so much out of the people I'm living life with, but I forget so easily that I don't get to decided when things change for others, or when life happens to find them. Why do I love people who don't see all of their potential, beauty and worth? It's becoming so painful and frustrating.
But I need to learn to love the thorns, because I know that they already have such beautiful roses. And I can't wait for the rest of the world to turn their grumblings into thankfulness.
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